Why waiting to change x,y,z before a boudoir shoot is wasted
Experience has shown me time and time again why delaying something until you have made changes rarely works. Booking that boudoir shoot is a classic example.
www.rebelliously-sensual.co.uk
6/12/20263 min read
Do I Need to Lose Weight Before Booking a Boudoir Shoot?
If I had a monetary pound for every time a woman said to me, "I'd love to book...but I just want to lose a bit of weight first," I'd probably be retired by now. It's one of the most common reasons women put off booking a boudoir session.
Can you hear the voice in your head? Just a few pounds, a dress size. after my holiday, after I've joined the gym, when life settles down, when the kids are older...
We are notorious for it. There always seems to be a future version of ourselves who feels more deserving of stepping in front of the camera. But here's something I've noticed after photographing women of every age, shape and size... ...that future version never quite arrives because even if we meet all our aspirational goals (which is very rare), we find more things that we need to change.
I don't believe that is really about the number on the scales. It's about confidence.
When women tell me they want to lose weight first, what they're often saying is, "I want to feel more confident." Those aren't the same thing. Confidence doesn't suddenly appear because you've lost half a stone. If it did, every woman who reached her goal weight would never criticise herself again and we know how that works out!
You Don't Need the "Perfect" Body (spoiler alert - there's no such thing)
One of the biggest misconceptions about boudoir photography is that you need to look like the women you see in magazines or on social media. You don't. Not that many of them actually look like that anyway.
When you look at images on the Rebelliously Sensual website - did you focus on bits you didn't like about them? I somehow doubt it. And yet, many of the women whose photographs drew you in felt exactly the same as you before their session. They worried about their stomach, their arms, their thighs, their scars, their stretch marks, their cellulite.
Somewhere between arriving at the studio and seeing their finished photographs, something shifted. This wasn't because their bodies changed but because the way they saw themselves did.
A good boudoir photographer doesn't make you feel awkward, they don't do the same set poses for every person and they don't do a digital version of plastic surgery. They know how to photograph you. There is a huge difference.
Years of experience teach us how light falls across the body, how subtle changes in posture create beautiful lines, how angles flatter naturally and how expression tells a far more compelling story than a dress size ever could. You don't need to suck your stomach in for two hours or hide yourself in layers. You don't need to worry about what to do with your hands.
You just need to listen, watch and laugh along with me. Creating flattering shapes - that's my job.
Your only job is to arrive.
What I Hope You Leave With
Of course, I want you to leave with photographs you'll adore, but I also hope you leave with something less tangible... ...relief.
The relief of discovering that the things you've spent years criticising about yourself aren't the first things anyone else sees. The relief of realising you've been far harder on yourself than you ever deserved. The relief of knowing that you didn't have to become someone else to feel beautiful. And from that relief, I hope that you will find a way to affirm a new love for yourself.
Don't Wait for a Different Version of You
Life has a habit of convincing us that we need to earn experiences. We'll celebrate when we've lost weight. We'll wear the nice dress when the occasion is important enough. We'll book the photoshoot when we're more confident. But what if confidence isn't the ticket that gets you through the door? What if it's something you find on the other side of it?
The Truth?
I've never had a woman look at her photographs and say, "I wish I'd waited another six months to lose a few pounds."
What I have heard, time and time again, is this:
"I can't believe that's me."
"I never realised I could look like that."
"I wish I'd done this years ago."
If you're waiting until you feel "ready", I hope you'll re-consider.
You deserve to celebrate the woman you are today - not the one you keep promising yourself you'll become because she's already worthy of being seen.